When I was in college, I worked as a custodian between classes. I worked the day shift, which meant that I was told to be minimally disruptive during the execution of my duties, which involved cleaning restrooms, emptying garbage cans, changing light bulbs and attending to random, unscheduled messes as they presented themselves. Frequently, vacuuming would be a necessary part of my job. I was always envious of the second shift crew, because when they vacuumed they were allowed to use the central vacuum system.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with them, central vacuums are permanent, industrial-strength vacuum cleaners that are built into the structure of the building. From a centrally-located vacuum, a web of tubes spreads throughout a building, and they are connected to outlets in floors or walls. Removable hoses and wands can be connected to these outlets, which means that people using the central vacuum don’t have to worry about electrical outlets or carry heavy vacuums on their backs. The central vacuum is powered by a large blower that creates a vacuum powerful enough to create negative pressurization throughout the whole system of tubes.

I always had to carry around a backpack vacuum, because leaving hoses lying around during hours of heavy hallway traffic was considered to be a hazard. In addition to being annoying, the backpack vacuums couldn’t compete for sheer sucking power with the central vacuum, which was equipped with a large, powerful vacuum blower. Also, because of the design of the central vacuum, there were no bags to empty or dispose of periodically. Instead, the central vacuum was cleaned out at intervals by other college staff who were licensed to service the equipment. While I look back on my time in that position somewhat fondly, I still resent the fact that I was stuck with the dinky little vacuums when I could have been using the central vacuum.